Burn Baby Burn

Well, we did it. We’ve turned the page, and everything feels exactly the same. But there’s a small twinge of underlying hope. We hope that we can say goodbye to some all of these things. We are putting it out there like “the secret.”

For today’s post, we sought inspiration from one of the greatest tv shows of our time. No, it’s not Seinfeld.

It’s not I Love Lucy...

It’s obviously Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Kat
Yes, that happened circa 2014. Anyway, there was an episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo that aired their New Year’s Eve tradition. The family sat around a burn barrel (yes, you read that correctly) and aired the grievances that they had toward one another. They, then, got to burn an item that belonged to the family member who had wronged them. After each confession and burn they would all say, “It is what it is. Shut up and move on. Even Steven.” And the slate was wiped clean for the new year. I don’t know about you, but it makes perfect sense to us. Talk about your problems. Get a fresh start. Be a pyro. Sounds like the perfect start to a new year.

So these are things that we’d like to put in our metaphorical burn barrel.

-Political Ads

I have never been more thankful for the fact that I don’t have cable television than this year; however, when I was home for the holidays, I was bombarded with ads every minute. I don’t know how some of you have a sane bone in your body. If you didn’t know there was an election without political ads every 30 seconds, then you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit. Leave the rest of us alone. #evensteven

-Mask selfies

Got it. Hero. You. Let it be. #evensteven

-Cardi B

I don’t wish ill on Cardigan B, but I truly can’t stand her. I think it’s appalling that she’s as famous as she is, and the mere sound of her voice makes me want to put my ears in a burn barrel. And don’t get me started on the fact that she has procreated. That poor child. Don’t @ me with “don’t mom shame her. You don’t know.” Would you leave your child, nay your goldfish in that woman’s care? Doubt it. #evensteven

-Baby Yoda and Chicky Nuggies

I don’t understand. I don’t think it’s funny. And if a peer asked me for “chicky nuggies”, lose my mind I would. #evensteven

Caroline
It is what it is. Shut up and move on. Even Steven. Here are my items for the Honey Boo Boo burn barrel. Light it up.

-Pictures of your Zoom call

This isn’t as bad as it was in March and April, but I’m over it. We get it. You Zoomed with your office. You Zoomed with your gal pals. #evensteven

–Hubs and Wifey

I’ve mentioned my disdain for these terms before, but they drive me so nutty that it’s worth another mention. I don’t even need to go into detail with how silly you sound saying them… #evensteven

Aaaaaannnnnd while we’re at it, the term, “bestie.” Hmmmph.

-Incessant Wine Talk

Kat somewhat touched on this in our post last year for things to stop saying in 2020. “Girl, I can’t wait to get home and get a glass of wine.” “Girl, don’t talk to me after 5:00 pm until I’ve had my wine, girl.” “Girl, I start the day with coffee and end with wine. Mocha then moscato, girl.” #evensteven

–2020 Related Terms

There are so many of these, but two that need to burn are “social distance” and “things look a little different right now….” I’m not against you staying home and away from others to stay healthy. You do you. I’m just over that term; plus it makes zero sense. “Things look a little different right now,” you aren’t kidding! When did anyone ever thing we’d wear masks to Target or think shaking hands with someone was a death sentence? It’s different, and we know it. Please caption your photos with something else. Dig deep. #evensteven

Have we annoyed you enough? Probably. Please stay with us; we aren’t horribly grumpy people; we just have our grievances. We’d love to know what you’d put in the burn barrel. Bring what you got, and we’ll bring the matches.

Even Steven,