We hope this post doesn’t make us sound like disgruntled people. “Everyone here is extremely gruntled.” (If you know where that quote came from, I hope we are friends) We just need to get some things off our chests.
Ahh. 2020. A new year. A new decade. A fresh start.
We have each compiled a list of expressions that need to be left in the last decade. You can feel better about your failed resolution by helping us spread the word to stop these phrases. Here are our top five sayings to leave in the past.
*”Get in my belly.” It’s just not an attractive thing to say. Please stop. You are not that man from Austin Powers.
*”Forever wedding date” This is the Live, Laugh, Love of the matrimony caption world. Who started saying this, and why did it catch on?
*”I’m so busy.”
I’m sure I’ve been guilty of this, but it makes me crazy when people go on and on about how busy they are. It’s not a competition. No one gets a prize for being busy. Plus, unless you’re a president or the Duggar family’s obstetrician, you are not that busy. Let’s think of something else to say.
*”I love me some…” “First of all, it’s not grammatically correct. Second of all, it’s just awful. I love me some chips and salsa. Now, let’s try it another way. I love chips and salsa. Doesn’t that sound better?
*”Yummy” Unless you’re under the age of 7, you should stop proclaiming anything to be “yummy”. There are so many different adjectives to be used. Let’s dust some off and use them because if you are at an age to make your own doctors’ appointments, we don’t want to hear that your avocado toast is “yummy.”
I worry how this will come across. Let me state for the record that I am very even tempered. It takes a lot to irritate me. Unless you’re chewing near me or are beating me in a game, then I’m a monster. Other than those things, I’m delightful. But I’ve held onto these grievances for far too long, and they’ve taken root and sprouted. Here are my five.
*“Love you to the moon and back.”
I’m sorry to all the moms who have no other way of properly conveying their love for their children other than this trite phrase. Actually, I’m not. You can do better. You have given someone life. You can come up with better words. I believe in you.
Ok. It’s probably important to note that I’m not a pet person. I had a hermit crab once. I let it go in a ditch in Taliaferro county. RIP Emma
Where did this phrase originate? Is it a play on ‘Furbies’? If yes, I’m all for clinging to 90s nostalgia. If no, please leave this in the past. Honestly, I’m fine with you calling your pet your baby. It’s when you add the “fur” as if we didn’t know dogs and cats have fur. Don’t insult my intelligence like that.
*This isn’t a specific phrase necessarily but cliche holiday puns. “Some bunny loves me.” “Such a fun Thanksgiving with these turkeys.” Those are PUNishable in my opinion. See what I did? Be creative. If Kanye can find the Lord, you can think of a better caption.
“Mama needs some wine” and other wine related things that are found on T-shirts at Target. I thought I had a merLOT to say about that one, but I don’t. I’m not a fan.
And finally, the fifth thing I wish people would stop saying in 2020.
“Kat, get a new car.”
People. People. People. Leave me and Rhea Perlman (my car) alone. We are perfectly happy together. You know when Ariana Grande was with Pete Davidson and everyone was all “what could she possibly see in him?” Ariana is to Pete as Kat is to Rhea. We are in a bit of an abusive relationship, but we are working through some things. I love her to the moon and back.
Let’s have group therapy. What would you add to the list?